When the silence is not good

14 01 2010

I am quite impressed of today. It was a strange day of misery and thinking.

I know I am looking for that someone to make my suffering worthwhile, but it’s indeed silly if you think about it.
It’s like I’m trying to find not a cure but another illness to give the symptoms a name. I am fabricating my own lie.

The truth is out there and it’s dull and it’s hard to digest. It speaks of my failures and my plans and my forthcoming fall. I can cope sometimes with this truth but there are days or night that bring me a whisper too cold to be kept warm even under a pink duvet.

What am I doing here, when it’s clear that nobody can match my soul, when is clear than nobody can heal it by means of whips and paddles?
What I am ultimately trying to say to myself, waiting for something that can’t happen and will never happen anyway.

I am too much for myself. I am drawn out of my own limits.
And the price I pay for this is suffering a pain that puts a whipping to the mere status of a candy.

Nobody can hurt my skin enough right now, so I can’t hear my own thought.
My path is of a wanderer and there is no goal but the silence.

But the music saves me again.
There is something worth living, isn’t it?
There is something worth listening too. Sometimes.




One response

29 03 2010

let me know when you have redone the video….I am drawn

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