2 09 2009

There are times in my work that I experience humiliation… being in constant contact with the public is quite likely that you find someone very mean and you have to cope with him/her properly. Most of the times almost everyone is very nice, sometimes you find that bitch and the reactions are very different. Usually the reaction is being mean too… or just fleeing as soon as possible… it’s not my reaction anymore though. My reaction now is to study.
Although I must say I like humiliation per see, is very different when the one who humiliate me is my Master… we’ve got a connection, we’ve got a link, he knows me and so he knows I am there to please him. But when the case is of a mean customer, the setting changes, the motivation changes too, my behaviour is different but in that situation I am there to be nice and I am nice to the point of being pedant… what I observe is what’s happening, what the person is telling me and how the money he/she has (I must say that almost all the mean customers are women) influence the way they think the world should react to them. I don’t recognize they’re superior somehow… they might have so much money to spend but money is nothing to my eyes… money might be power but it’s not the kind of power that arouses me or interests me for everyone is able to have power with money (especially when the money is not yours but your partner’s LOL)…

what I like in that situations is that I am a step ahead of them for I recognize what they want and I give them what they expect… I please them somehow in their pointless need of humiliate a human being and in doing so I don’t feel any remorse… I know that’s nothing, I know that the real thing is something else. Yet I am always surprised of how easy is for me to see things from a different perspective… like I’m saying: “you want this? then you’ll have it, if it’s so important for you”

Curious. That’s also something I wasn’t aware of earlier… something I wasn’t used to spend time thinking about, something I overstepped so many times. But now looks like everything is new to me and I’m looking at them with the eye of a scientist.
My feelings and my mental processes are a new world now, something I was used to investigate so much I lost the point… now I just leave them free and I watch them a step behind, to see what happens.
Like I’m finally letting myself living instead of thinking how to live.
It’s rather amusing.
And it’s also fun.




One response

4 09 2009

well I guess the Kurds where not exactly willing slaves 😀

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