How I developed so far

1 09 2009

“I am a Master who can give you what you need”

it started like that, with this phrase and a comment about my profile… I understood I was speaking with someone that was able to read behind my words and I hoped he would be able to read behind my thought as well.
It’s difficult to understand how I’ve developed so far, very diffucult. Being here, on this side of the barricade, means I have just a one way opinion of what’s happening, and sometimes my opinion is scaring or is worrying.

Reading our old chats was interesting. I saw how much I’ve changed, I so I don’t fear to say any more I’m a slave and that I exist to please my Master, to give him my body, my mind and my soul.
What I saw is that now I am grateful, for I want to be His joy, I want to be his pleasure, I want to be nothing but what He wants me to be… and this sense of gratitude is so deep and hard that sometimes it hurts, but somehow is right.

I know now what’s my place, I’m glad and thankful you found me Sir for I was lost before meeting you.
I didn’t know what to do, how to behave, what to feel and now I know I have to be open for you and I have to please you for my pleasure is only in making you happy, for you will take care of everything else and you control me where I can’t control myself properly.
I’m sorry if sometimes I’m scared and I don’t understand and then I ask silly questions about my feelings, for now looks like you know my feelings more than I do and now I see what you told me the first time and how it became real.

There feelings are hard, deep, they hurt sometimes so badly I cannot tell properly, like a bite here in my guts or butterfly in my stomach.
But now I don’t have anymore the key for them.
For only you, my Master, know my real me… more than I know myself.

Thank you for letting me be your boi Sir.
Thank you for teaching me what’s being a slave, thank  you for making me feel this emotions.
Sincerly and deeply thank you for making me the wonderful creature I am now.
Thank you Sir.

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