15 08 2009

In the realm of pleasure a slave is always lost. He’s selfish and looking for an immediate release of his endorphines.
What he lacks in control, he abounds for sure in libido,  for fantasies are everywhere in his mind and he can hardly suppress them.
The connection libido-control is quite interesting. It’s roughly a paradigm of classical opposites, where libido is supposedly to be wild and vast while control is rigid and firm. One being more liquid and the other being more solid, it’s easy to see how they fit in a dynamic partnership.

I would like to speak a bit more of this, but for now I don’t have time. And maybe the will is lacking too.
I must say that what I’m always interested in is easily this: what happens to my mind when I crave a whip, when I sniff that used underwear, when I want someone to twist my nipples badly.
I might know what’s in play here, that dreaded endorphines we were speaking about, but that’s not my field of interest. Chemistry is just a dream of Alchemy.
What’s the archetype then that leads me in that moments? What’s the Tarot I represent? What’s the point in the Three of Life that might fit?
What comes to my mind, suddenly, is the Hanged Man. Odin in his pain hanged to the Tree of the World, Odin lacking an eye but seeing a lot more than that. As we all know pain always had a place in shamanism and in a lot of religions (name one who does’t have a martyr and you will find a rare exception to this rule) and it’s not my duty to explain that… but the connection to knowledge and the divine is always tehre.

But, again, what’s in my mind to do the trick? what’s in my mind to make me leak so much?
Answering to this question is not the point. The questions are the point indeed.
As always I fail to find an easy path, I just get stuck in the realm of the mind so easily that it looks like it’s normal.
It’s not, honestly.
When you find a path you must walk it and see where it leads you, you’re not supposed to stop and eat the berries. You might find a crossway and then Hecat is there to show you Her three-headed way…
But again is the end the goal? Or is not simply enjoying the trip? For when the end comes a new path will blossom under your feet.
All you have to do, my dear inner slave, is hoping it will be even more strict.
For every step you take just leads you a little bit more nearer the source of all our libido.

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