2 08 2009

Then is somehow starting. Here I am, with a task given by Master, to try to explain how I feel about where I’ve got to today.
To be honest I don’t see, yet, a big difference. I like that when a message from Him comes, I suddenly become horny and possibly I start to leak or have a slightly erection. Somehow that put me in place, meaning that as a slave I must be happy and horny for my Master, always ready when He asks.
I feel comfortable for now, even if I fear the tasks He’s going to give me will possibly became difficult and might interfere with my daily life or my work. Giving that I still have this kind of worries, I guess I’m far from being a good slave. πŸ™‚
But al least I’m eager to please and learn and I feel He will develop this part of me that was kept hidden for so much time.
My main worry is still that I might not click with him physically… although it’s clear that on a mental level I’m ready to please, it’s much more difficult when that “pleasing” become real, with a real man in front of me.

So far I gave up on showers, allowed to wash only with a small facecloth and allowed from today to dry my body with a towel of the same size… aka very small. When I wash myself now I have to put a lot more effort, and on drying too. Somehow washing is slightly more erotic since it has a meaning, that I’m following Master’s orders… but with cold water is very very hard ahahah. At least it wakes me up! πŸ˜€

I don’t know where this will leads me, I’m just curious though and a bit fearful for now. Yet I’m not completly aware of my emotional state… maybe I’m avoiding it on purpose, to explore it in small bits.
And I will, right here, every day.

—————-
Now playing: MGMT – Time to Pretend
via FoxyTunes

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