Are we

31 08 2009

Are we really free? Free from what we have to do everyday to survive this world, free from pattern hidden in our cultures since ages past, free from saying what we have to say instead of saying what we should say?

The path I’m looking for is a path of truth. And with truth comes sacrifices… I can see now how every time I speak, every time I eat, every time I walk in the tube, I’m sacrificing truth and freedom just for living in a world that doesn’t belong to me as much I belong to it.

Sometimes I see things like they are, distant and frail, build up on a castle made of cards.
These are the times I need a collar and some restraints, there are the times when I need heavy bondage.
Being brought down to what I am, purely and simply, that’s what I need.
With no lies, with no regrets.
Just with the feeling I’m not giving up anything, the feeling I’m not living a façade.
With a gag in my mouth I understand that words are useless.
What really counts there is what I am and what I’m doing.
For every action I take, is an action of freedom… the freedom of being simply me.
What a luxury, what a luxury!



30 08 2009

Back from Sicily with a lot of things to say and to think about. More of everything I was surprised by the sun and the sluttiness of guys there! LOL a couple of years in London made me so prudish? That’s bad. I need to be more slutty now! Ahah
I must say I thought a lot about my situation, especially when I was dun bathing naked with the wind caressing my body!
For now I have nothing more to say. I missed my Sir… but not London… it’s so cold and sad here compared to the sun and the warmth of Italy… but what I see is different a lot is people and I couldn’t notice it earlier for it’s been ages I wasn’t in italy for such a long time. So what about now? What to do? What’s next?
A tarot reading is mandatory, looks like.

At least my two books are waiting me… I’ll start with Dark Moon Raising! Muahahah

It’s just a shade

20 08 2009

I see now what the problem is… there’s no black and white, we know that. Yet there’s a line to divide my usual life from my kinky one.
In this days I’ve seen the line, I saw the difference from what I am and what the people see in me… could you imagine that behind this cute face, there are so unspeakable desires? I don’t hide them, nor I lie… it’s just that I can’t tell to anyone what I feel, I can’t speak or ask someone about this feelings or about their experiences in this field… I feel lost today.

As he spoke to me and he told me I am cute and he likes me, I understood where’s the problem… he doesn’t see I’m a slave, for he doesn’t even know what I like.
Speaking with him, a hot man who’s interested in me (sort of a miracle since I’m here no one ever approached me) showed me that I can’t. I can’t confine myself again in a box of self remorse, in a cage of self imposed purity… what I am is what I am so I have to follow my trail.

The line is there, traced on the floor.
I’m waiting for the right moment to cross it.

an orgasm for my Reign!

19 08 2009

There was a day, a sunny day. The weather was pleasant and the summer hot. A boy was walking the street, excited with his new toy, a cd box, with a certain album inside.
That was the time of  cd-walkman, quite far from mp3 or iphones, and the boy opened the cd case with shaking hands for he was so happy to hear that new album.
The first song was delicious, the second was good, the third was sublime… and then the forth came…
The boy didn’t stop walking, but it wasn’t important any more what he was doing… the song entered in him like a dream, spoke to his mind like a sin, conquered is body like a cock… and as the song grow up something happened… something unexpected: an orgasm. And a darn good one.
Growing with the notes, following the magnitude of the voice and the music, the feeling grew from the back spine and like a wave crushed every single part of the boy’s body. Still walking he closed the eyes and didn’t stop walking, savouring every single moment like precious stones for his memory.
Then the music had to stop and the boi stopped too.  He put the cd away, to never listen that song again for he was afraid it could never have the same effect on him again.

Such is sometimes the power of mind, he learnt that day. He found out that his mind could do that to him and he smiled.
For the body follows the mind. And when the mind can do that, it can do anything.


18 08 2009

Sometimes I don’t know what to think, sometimes I don’t know what to feel. Who’s going to lead me through that journey called myself?
The connection with the divinity is there. Can I reach it? Will I be strong enough?

17 08 2009

Cum milking is an interesting topic to speak of, isn’t it? The feeling of your cum going out like a river, without u touching your cock… how’s it like?
It’s energy coming out from you with no purpose but the process of leaving your body per se… like an act that must be done, a discharge of energy for an higher purpose.
I like the idea. Can’t say why. I like being there and being drained. Like being a shell to be emptied and then filled again.
It’s a simple mechanism. Quite not far from being drained and then invaded by a god during a shamanistic ordeal. To try at home of course. With the confort of serving.

Let’s say thank you

16 08 2009

Thank you to the nice system engineers that thought for wordpress a way to blog via email so I can lie down pretending I’m almost dead while still doing something.
Thank you to the lovely man who invented escalators for after 14 hours of work they are precious without any doubt.
Thank you for the fast foods, so I could go there and have a nice lunch with two super hot guys (at least I can still watch the hot guys, can I?).
And thank you for the patience for today and yesterday I’ve been a bit demanding. I guess I’m still a little selfish thing, ain’t I?

As I am lying here, next to collapse for too much work and the sleep deprivation of the previous days, I caught myself thinking I would like some belting. This could exactly be a perfect time, for I am far to tired to debate in any way, far too tired to complain, far too tired to even stand. LOL
The realm of desires is such a funny thing, isn’t it? The more you travel in it the more you find pretty lovely scaring little things.
Now I faint and tomorrow I’ll speak of something more interesting than my mere desire of a beating. Hopefully.